Uniform

My daily clothing need can unfortunately be very formulaic and mundane. For work, my inevitable go to piece is the COS shift dress. For play, it’s a Topshop Leigh super soft skinny jean, accompanied by something jersey on the top. However, as soon as I walk through the door, I feel the need to put on what’s affectionately come to be known as “my uniform.” I’d love to lie and say it takes the form of matching cashmere loungewear. The truth however, is it’s something far more disparate and tattered. As a grown adult and parent, I’ve been forced to time ration this need for comfort; a little like the drinking of wine, it’s now only acceptable after 5.30 p.m. (weekend restrictions do not apply.)

The only timed I consciously curbed this inclination to be comfortable around the house, was while I was pregnant and the few months after I gave birth. Style wise, this is a very tough time for women. You fear any slovenly behaviour will be judged and perceived as a sign of weak parenting or an inability to cope. You’re desperate to feel you haven’t lost “it,” whatever “it” actually is. The irony is, this is the time in your life when you deserve to feel the most comfortable, as your body can be utterly torturous and unforgiving. I remember buying a beautiful Topshop maternity dress with awesome asymmetric elastic straps. I proceeded to squeeze my new form into it, one strap above the bump and the other below. I went to work feeling mightily cool and stylish, the desired effect, only to discover I had worn the dress back to front as I removed my bump from the elastic harness that night.

So today, I felt enraged on seeing the Daily Mail’s unique perspective on fashion in pregnancy. The only time I usually click through to the DM’s website is to read Lorraine Candy’s column, as I respect her journalistic integrity. But this morning a small Twitter furore led me to look. The beautiful and always stylish Edith Bowman was on the receiving end of the DM’s sharp-tongued debased “journalism;” they described her outfit as “made for radio,” amongst other unnecessary jibes. I refuse to link to the article and drive ever more traffic to their ridiculous website that’s frankly on a par with the content of Take A Break magazine. Edith is pregnant and pregnancy dressing, as I’ve just discussed, is filled with emotion; you want to be proud of your pregnancy, comfortable and cool. I feel that Edith fulfilled all of those criteria in her outfit choice and for her to wake up today to such a pointless article with unnecessary, unfounded criticism, must have been tough. The fact that the article was written under the anonymous, generic guise of a “Daily Mail Reporter,” makes it doubly infuriating.

DM, I implore you, improve the quality of your work. No person, be they pregnant or otherwise, attends a formal public function without putting a significant amount of effort into their attire. If I were in any way “famous,” I dread to think what you’d make of my uniform.

*Disclaimer – This article was written in pyjamas*

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